You’ve just started connecting with someone and want to know if what’s developing is friendship or love? You’re in the right place!

First Messages: Is friendship or love on the horizon?

The sound of a notification on your phone, the excitement of opening a message from that special person – this can be an experience that makes your heart beat faster.

But how to recognize if those initial messages are the foundation of a deep friendship or the beginning of something more?

In this article, we reveal key signals that will indicate whether it’s genuine friendship or potential growing love. 

Get ready to find out if that smile on your face is just the result of a beautiful friendship or the first step towards an engaging love!

It’s friendship, NOT love if:

What distinguishes friendship from love are specific actions and attitudes. Here are some behaviors that indicate you might be on the path of friendship:

• Embarrassment-free sharing: Someone who wants to be just your friend often tends to exchange confidences and personal stories with you without feeling awkward. If you notice that you and the other person are sharing details of your lives without any embarrassment, what’s likely developing is a simple friendly bond.
• Sincere advice: If conversations with them focus on listening and support without a hint of romantic gestures, it’s clear that their intent is to build a solid friendship with you. Especially if they seek your advice on how to win over someone else who isn’t you.
• Lack of romance: If there’s no trace of flirting, teasing, or romantic tension in your messages, and you feel comfortable with this absence, it’s a clear sign that you’re more friends than lovers

It’s NOT friendship BUT love when:

Love brings with it unique nuances that are almost uncontrollable at the beginning. Here are some key behaviors that indicate you might be in the presence of budding love

• Seeking exclusivity: If you notice the other person starting to ask for more of your time or often invites you out to spend more time together, it could be a signal that they enjoy being with you and want to deepen your connection beyond friendship.
• Intense messages: Conversations become more intense and profound, with an emotional undertone that goes beyond friendship. If they start sharing dreams, desires, and romantic aspirations they want to share with you, it means they’re smitten and want to go beyond a friendly relationship.
• Thinking about the future: If they tell you they spend a significant amount of time thinking about you, imagining a future together, or fantasizing about you, then there’s a good chance they’re head over heels in love with you and want to go further.

Differences between friendship and love messages:

Here are some examples to help you understand the differences:

Friendship messages:

• “Hey! How are you? I hope you had a great day. Want to grab a coffee tomorrow and catch up on the latest news?”
• “Hi, how are you? Up for some chit-chat?”
• “Tonight I’m hanging out with some friends, want to join us? We’re having a pizza party…”
• “I need a friend to lift my spirits. How about some bowling?”

If the messages you receive are similar to these examples, it means the other person is interested in you without seeking a deeper involvement.

Love messages:

• “Hello! I’ve spent the whole day thinking about you… Can’t wait to see you, when are you free?”
• “Hey, I was thinking I’d like to take you out to dinner. Do you like the idea? You choose the place.”
• “How about a movie, just you and me?”
• “It’s been a long time since I felt this good with someone; you’re something special, maybe even more.”

If the messages you receive, instead, are more like these examples, it’s clear that the other person has a strong interest in you that goes beyond simple friendship!

How to respond to a friendship message when I’m looking for love?

If you find yourself in a situation where you’re seeking love but the messages you receive seem more oriented towards friendship, you could respond like this:

“You know, I’m happy to hear from you and to share beautiful moments with you. I really like you, but at the moment, I’m looking for something more than just friendship…”

“I know we have a special connection, and I would like to continue getting to know you… however, I want to let you know that I’m currently seeking something deeper. I hope you can understand…”

How to respond to a love message if I only want friendship?

If, on the other hand, you receive messages that seem to indicate a more romantic interest
in you rather than just friendly, but you’re only looking for a friendship, you could try responding gently and kindly, like:

“I really appreciate your words and affection. You are special, and for that reason, I want to be honest and let you know that I’m currently only looking for friendship.”

“I see you as an amazing friend, I couldn’t have asked for anything better. If you’re okay with it, we could remain friends…”

“Do you mind being just a friend to me? Your friendship means a lot to me.”