The person you like has asked you out on a date, but it’s not yet clear what they feel for you. Here’s how to tell if it’s love, friendship, sex, or just a simple flirt.

What does the date mean to a man?

Love or flirt? It depends on the type of date.

How do you tell the difference between a romantic date, (which could lay the groundwork for a “love story”) and a date with the intent of shamelessly flirting?

Here are some scenarios that will help you better understand the difference:

  • DINNER AT A RESTAURANT: A classic that we might call a “borderline date” since it’s the most chosen outing by men – don’t ever expect them to surprise you with something different… just kidding, back to the point:

    For some of them, taking you to dinner at a restaurant means dedicating most of their time (and perhaps even their wallet) to spend time with you and try to get to know you better. For others, however, it’s seen more as a “ploy” to get to the end of the evening and sneak into your room… “So, if they asked me out to dinner, what does it mean? Do they want to get to know me or just take me to bed?”

    To understand this, you need to take a step back and analyze the stage of your relationship (e.g., How long have you known each other? How did everything happen? What have you said to each other? What do you have in common?)
  • BEER/COFFEE AT THE LAST MINUTE: A less demanding date and sometimes even “perfunctory”… For many men, this is a sign of interest, yes, but not enough to commit to longer outings and original activities.

    Coffee and beer are usually drunk with friends… but that doesn’t mean it has to be the same for you! Maybe he really is interested in you. Again, the rule applies: try to understand where your relationship stands before you can say whether it’s just a fleeting flirtation without emotional ties.

    It should also be said that what will make a difference is what you talk about and his attitude during the outing (does he ask about your passions because he wants to get to know you, or does he prefer to know what your favorite positions in bed are? Does he often seek physical contact, or is he hesitant to do so?)

    If he asks what you like to do or how you spend your time, it means he’s trying to picture you in his life before picturing you in his bed: this is a good sign!
  • PARTY AT A FRIEND’S HOUSE: This one’s tough, can we say it depends? It’s not clear if he’s inviting you to a friend’s party because he wants to introduce you to them or because he considers your outing and relationship with you just a friendship… It’s up to you to understand, based on his character and the relationship that has been created between you so far, what this date means.

    The rule says that a man who is interested will do everything possible to be alone with you. Only later, at a second stage of your acquaintance, might he decide to take the big step and introduce you to his friends. It’s not an absolute rule but consider this aspect too.
  • SHOW/EVENT OF HIS/YOUR PASSION: An outing where he wants to bring you into his world? Or where he asks you to do something that involves your passions? It means he wants to get to know you better or involve you in his hobbies. Here, it’s very difficult to see this date as just a flirt; there’s every foundation to say that it’s a romantic initiative!

How does he behave before and during the date?

His behavior, both before and during, is also something to keep an eye on!

  • Does he reach out and write to you before the big day? Or is he less communicative than usual? If he tends to send you messages and look for you throughout the day, it means he’s thinking about you. If he doesn’t, and his presence has suddenly decreased, perhaps there’s no romantic interest at the base…
  • What does he write to you? What do you talk about in the days leading up to the date? If he asks how your day was or tells you about his, it’s a good sign; he wants to let you know what he’s doing and what happens when you’re not with him. If, on the other hand, he jests and teases you endlessly, then his intent might be to get to the bedroom sooner than to a marriage proposal.

So remember to observe everything, before, during, and also after your outing!

If you haven’t got a date yet, here’s what you need to do:

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