The secret to avoid ghosting after a date is to make the date go well! We reveal 5 remedies to not lose contact with him:
Avoid ghosting after a date: what it is and why it happens
Have you ever dated someone for a while and then suddenly lost contact with them for no apparent reason?
What you experienced is called Ghosting!
We could define this as a disappearance rather than a constructive confrontation.
But why does it happen and especially when might you experience it?
The answer is very simple: they no longer wanted to spend time together and, rather than facing the situation, they preferred to literally disappear.
If you want to delve deeper into what ghosting is and why it happens, we invite you to read here.
If you already know what we’re talking about and just want to avoid getting ghosted after a date, the secret is to make the date go well with him.
Avoid ghosting: 1. Pay attention to how he behaves
The first step to avoid ghosting is to understand what kind of person you’re dealing with by observing their behavior during the date:
- Did you notice that after the first 20 minutes of your date, he started using his phone and paying less attention to you?
Red flag!
Someone who enjoys being with you and wants to spend time with you won’t easily get distracted. If he does, it means he’s not that interested after all…
It’s understandable that this kind of behavior might happen after a couple of outings, but not on the first one, and excuses like “work emergencies” should be taken with a grain of salt, as they can always be convenient excuses.
- Is he active and engaged in conversations? Or can you see a hint of boredom on his face? Pay attention to where his gaze goes while you’re talking and if he asks many questions during your conversation.
- Do you think he’s just being charming with the goal of ending the date in bed? That’s not good either!
If you notice immediate physical closeness from him, as if it’s too “premature” for the first date, it means he might just want a fling and isn’t interested in anything serious…
To confirm this, you should try asking him directly why he chose to go out with you and what he’s looking for in his love life.
Avoid ghosting: 2. Don’t reveal everything about yourself right away
The biggest mistake you can make is revealing all your cards too soon.
It’s okay to share about yourself, to let him know who you are, but don’t overdo it, or you’ll dampen his desire to get to know you better.
Men are like children, they (by definition) enjoy playing, so play along and give him one more reason to see you again next time.
Let yourself be known step by step, remain a bit mysterious (but not arrogant) and keep his interest piqued.
How? Don’t dominate the conversation all the time, but also give him the space to introduce himself.
If he asks you something, don’t always elaborate on every answer, give him some short responses too (but not always, or else it seems like you don’t care to talk to him; instead, ask him the same question he asked you).
Avoid ghosting: 3. Find out more about his love life
Keyword: Investigate!
Learn more about his romantic past by asking him these 5 questions:
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“How many serious relationships have you had so far?”
If the answer is “few,” he might be someone who has never been able to commit truly and may do the same this time. On the other hand, it’s not certain that he’s not ready for something serious now (people can change).
Conversely, has he had 2 or 3 significant stories? Evaluate if you’re not there to be a “rebound” or one of his recent desires for fun, having just come out of important relationships.
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“Why did your last relationship end?”
Pay close attention to what he tells you, but especially how he talks about his ex! You might discover much more than you imagine in this simple response.
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“What are you looking for in your love life right now?”
Here you’ll go straight to the point and get a much clearer idea of why he’s with you.
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“How do you spend your time? What do you do on weekends?”
If his answers so far have shown you that he’s there for something serious, this could be the trap question.
Does he decide every night to go to the club and get drunk with his friends or take a sudden flight on weekends to go out? That doesn’t seem like the typical behavior of someone looking for something serious… perhaps more like someone looking for adventures and wholesome fun!
But this is not a grounded opinion (he might also want to do these things with a partner), always observe the tone he uses.
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“Why did you choose to go out with me?”
And here’s the final question, the ruthless one 😂.Obviously, don’t just hit him with it because you might seem paranoid and too “intrusive”. Find the right moment to ask him, as if it were a natural question in the conversation you were having.
Avoid ghosting: 4. Don’t give it all away at the end of the date!
If your intention is to get to know him better and you’re not looking for casual flings, our advice is not to give in at the end of your date.
Nevertheless, it’s not forbidden to tease him a bit to see how he would react to certain “sexy” advances 😉 (however, this also depends on the type of approach he has and how your conversations have developed beforehand).
If, on the other hand, you’re only looking for adventures and fun, and you’re not interested in building the foundations for a stable relationship with him, then you can decide to sleep with him but wait for the right moment.
This is a challenging topic that deserves further discussion, read this article if you’re interested in understanding what to do.
Avoid ghosting: 5. Suggest meeting up again another time
Want to avoid him running off and resenting it? Get ahead of the game and suggest an outing for the next weekend.
You could organize an activity related to common passions or interests, for example: “Since you’re passionate about music, how about going with me to… next Saturday? I have two tickets…”
This would be the perfect excuse to make him honor a commitment made in person with you.
If, on the other hand, you’ve noticed that he’s not the right person and that the date in general was a disaster, use the anti-ghosting message, remain on good terms, and meet new people.
Have you ever thought about using the Yooppe app? Meet someone today!
Happy (next) date! 💘
