Finished love: is it possible to get back together with your ex? Some say it is possible, but only under certain conditions…
Finished love: What do the experts say?
“Recoupling” is a term used to explain, in a single word, the desire to get back together with an ex-partner.
The idea of reconciling might be appealing, so much so that 37% of couples decide to give it another chance after an initial breakup. However, this decision doesn’t always succeed, as only 12% of couples manage to seriously sustain their relationship.
Those contemplating reconciling with their ex often ask themselves the same questions:
– “Will they have the willingness to improve the aspects that weren’t working with me?”
– “Is it a good idea to dive back into a past love without spending some time alone?”
– “If it ended once, could it happen again in the same way?”
– “Wouldn’t it be more appropriate to build the future with someone else?”
These are some of the main uncertainties…
But how does one resolve these doubts and make a decision?
Perhaps it’s worth asking questions about the end of the romantic relationship, trying to understand what led to the breaking point!
Finished love: 5 questions to ask yourself if you want to get back with your ex
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“Why did you break up with your ex?”
You don’t need to go through every single thing, otherwise you wouldn’t survive! Try to summarize the main reasons that led to ending the relationship, dividing them into two categories:
- Internal Pressures: Infidelity, lack of interest, or compatibility issues.
- External Pressures: Limited time together to nurture the relationship, financial difficulties, or disapproval from a family member.
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“How much distance have you taken from your ex?”
Evaluate the level of distance you currently have with your ex: if you don’t talk or there’s nothing connecting you, moving forward might be a bit more complicated than expected…
However, if for some reason you’ve never really separated and you’ve remained friends, maybe you haven’t had the chance to truly assess what happened between you with a clear mind.
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“Do you miss him or his company?”
It’s normal to want to be with someone, especially if it seems like all your friends are in fantastic relationships and you’re not; add to that the social pressure pushing us to be in a couple, it’s almost habitual now to imagine ourselves with someone, and it might be easier (perhaps) if it’s with someone we’ve been with before.
In this case, it’s important to understand what truly keeps you attached to your old story. Try to figure out if it’s just a nostalgia for being with someone and sharing plans, or if it’s truly missing your ex and their personality. Which one is it…?
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“How much time has passed? Have you changed?”
How much time has passed since you said “it’s over”? For both of you to carefully reflect on the mistakes made in the relationship, it’s important that a significant amount of time has passed, which doesn’t equate to just a day or a single week…
When a relationship ends, often both parties give themselves time to be alone, and it’s during that period, with a clear mind, that the first signs of improvement start to appear: memories of past circumstances come back, leading to thoughts like:
- “I could have responded differently or done that thing instead of how it went… maybe I was too nervous because…”
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“Yes, if I had maintained the right balance between personal life and work, by now many arguments or discomforts wouldn’t have happened…”
So, try to understand if the time spent alone has helped you think about what points need improvement…
If (as they say) “time is ripe,” then it’s worth trying to reconnect and seek reconciliation (make sure, though, that the conditions are right to do so…)
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“What positive contribution does your ex make to your life?”
These years won’t come back, and maybe these are the best ones you’re experiencing…So, think carefully about with whom you’ll decide to spend them.
If your ex is a person with a negative influence, making you sad and leading the relationship to constant arguments, maybe it’s not worth continuing.
If, on the other hand, you believe they are a positive, respectful, and loving partner, then it’s easier to consider giving your relationship a second chance.
The choice is solely yours, but remember always to go where you can shine and be valued, both as a woman and as a partner.
Finished love: Is it a good idea to get back with your ex if…
Returning to an ex can be a good idea if both of you are willing to commit to building a stronger relationship and addressing the mistakes that led to the breakup.
You can see this in small gestures…
Try to find out if you’re truly willing to commit and, above all, if he is too…
Try to reconnect gradually, step by step, to see if time has managed to calm the waters and help you grow.
On the other hand, getting back with an ex might NOT be a good idea if the breakup was caused by unsolvable problems or “toxic” behaviors.
If you’ve noticed or think that your ex-partner is unwilling to listen to your needs to promote the peacefulness of the relationship, then let it go. In these cases, it’s essential to take care of your mental and emotional well-being and give yourself a second chance rather than a relationship that wouldn’t lead you anywhere.
Love is also an opportunity for growth, to define what you want from what you don’t want, so don’t focus on the wrong people (or at least not for the rest of your life)!
Finished love: The opportunity to reestablish the relationship with yourself
In English, it’s often said: “Better the devil you know.” Sometimes, we tend to prefer living in a negative situation – one we’re familiar with – rather than risking facing the uncertainty of change (which might be for the better).
This is your opportunity to start afresh.
Put a stop to the past and focus on the present: reclaim your passions, your daily activities, your friendships, and discover a “new you.”
Remember that you’re strong, beautiful, intelligent, and you will surely find someone who is just right for you and your qualities.
In case you’re looking for a little help, we suggest Yooppe, the dating app where women can make new connections and express themselves freely!
Download to believe. 💘
